Oh Halloween. Some things have never changed from being little to today. I'm still searching for the best costume. Only now, it's more subtle. I'm always trying to strike the right balance between original enough to avoid being cliché and also recognizable enough so that people know what I'm going for. Basically it's finding that costume that is relevant today, and that hardly anyone else would think of. Tough to do. I remember in college when I thought I had it nailed with the Silver Snakes from Legends of the Hidden Temple. I ran into several other teams.




Very Disheartening.



This year my success is contingent upon people seeing a slightly obscure youtube viral video. The Sexy Sax man Sergio Flores. Actually what my success is really dependant upon is whether or not I'm able to do the following:

A. Obtain an alto saxophone.
B. Learn how to play George Michael's "Careless Whisper.
C. Be able to play the song while moving my hips suggestively.
D. Do all of the above while diverting aggressive female attention (rawer)

I've all but stopped trying to top the previous year's Halloween costume. I've had some brilliant ones in the past. Where group costumes are always a plus, I had the advantage of having a buddy with short dark hair to my long(er) blond hair. That opened up countless scenarios:

1. Bill and Ted
2. Wayne and Garth
3. Hansel and Zoolander
4. Starsky and Hutch
5. Double Dragon
6. etc, etc

There was one more aspect of halloweening that became apparent to me: The shirtless dude.



you know the one.



The one that goes out of his way to have a costume that involves removing or lacking a shirt. The baby, Johnny Cage, Fitness made simple, the Hulk. The guy is muscular; he knows it, now he's taking advantage of one of the few occasions when it's socially acceptable to be shirtless. He wants to let the rest of the world know "Hey, I've been workin' my delts pretty hard." Put down the creatine bro, pick up some subtlety. This is the same guy who insists upon shirts vs. skins.

Call me a hater or a hypocrite. I don't object to scantily clad females on Halloween. In fact, I think party, novelty, or costume stores make it especially hard for girls to not show some skin regardless of what costume they're going for.

I'm gonna be a cop. A slutty cop.

I'm gonna be an Indian. A slutty Indian.

I'm gonna be an astronaut. A slutty astronaut. (What would that be anyway big bulb helmet and bikini?)