Hostage Negotiators Have a Sweet Gig

I could imagine myself being a hostage negotiator. That's a sweet gig. Wonder what the hours are like? Can you imagine an ad in the paper?

WANTED: Hostage negotiator. Must be comfortable working long, very sporatic hours, experience with megaphone helpful. Must be cool under pressure and comfortable with stretching the truth, elaborating, and outright lying. Must appear stressed out, wear ragged shirt and tie, smoke cigarettes and bark cool catch phrases upon arrival.

You know what I mean though? The hostage negotiator always kicks his car door open and walks briskly up to the scene with someone coming to greet him. Both of them walk forward but the informer is always staring at the hostage negotiator offering long explanations of the current scenario, as opposed to the negotiator's very minimal questions and statements. He doesn't feel the need to say much to this guy. A plan is already being formulated inside his head, as they both walk briskly to the scene, both wearing bullet proof vests, the informer catching the negotiator up to speed, trying to keep pace. It would help if the negotiator parks at least a block away. Also shoes that make an audible noise on the ground. Cop cars strewn about the place, always parked diagonally as if that parking scheme will really inhibit the gunman(men) from escaping.

A helpful technique for hostage negotiators is to try and reach out to the hostage taker. Find parallels in personality, similar interests, forge some sort of bond. You have to be sincerely and honestly interested in the other person, even if, epecially if you don't like them. Although the situation may be dire, the hostage taker can probably still sense when your only interest in them is to advance your own objectives. What makes a good negotiator is to separate the person from the problem and reach a common objective. Hostage negotiators always attempt to have some sort of barganing chip, some sign of good will. Usually this means the negotiator will convince the gunman to release one or several of the hostages, but never all at once, then there's no leverage for the gunman.