Things you should have that you may need at a certain point that may or may not be right now. Subtext: Fog machine

Woah nelly! Long hiatus from blogging exploits is a direct result of lack of material. After a short (but important) conversation with my sister I arrived at a startling conclusion: I need a fog machine (or several). A fog machine falls under a long and distinguished list of things that I may need to use some day, but will more than likely take up space and add clutter.

It's a risk I'm willing to take.

A fog machine, as the name implies, spews fog. To what end and purpose I will utilize the fog machine is unknown to me at this point. What is certain is that I will use it. With a fog machine one can make dramatic entrances from room to room making day to day life more epic. When I think about it, it's much harder to think of ways not to use a fog machine. I can only thing of one. On a foggy day, why in the hell would you need a fog machine? You friggin yahoo. Imbecile.

The fog machine could be used in conjunction with strobe lights, pyrotechnics, huge sub-woofers, maybe some skeletons (from real people naturally), and Alice Cooper. But really, the fog machine is key. With all the other amenities and no fog machine is like having 12 Robins and no Batman. Colorful, young boys.

Think about it.

Fog machines fit into every single holiday, either by history itself or from a festive.

1. Christmas: Santa could use a little fog down the chimney instead of smoke. And you could use a fog machine at Christmas parties to reduce the viability to zero, thus blotting out those god-awful Christmas sweaters.
2. Easter: When Jesus returned, you bet your ass there was fog. No one could make an entrance like that dude.
3. Valentines day: Set the mood with a little light fog.
4. Arbor day: Self-explanatory.

I should be a god damned salesman. So far fog machines and nutella have received free advertisement on my blog. You're welcome you ungrateful pricks.