With competitive sports out of my life, every so often I get a little restless. Luckily for me, there are plenty of outlets to still challenge myself physically, compete and be reckless. What's better is many of them are even legal in the United States!
It's a guy thing.
Exercising for the sake of health has never been satisfying enough. Yes, I will exercise to stay slim because I'm vain. But to go the extra mile (pun intended) it has to be for a purpose. If there's an event for which I need to train, I will work especially hard. I want to do well sure, but I want to not look stupid a whole lot more.
2 Years ago a friend approached me to do "Into the Mud" a 2.5 mile obstacle course race in Gorham. I ran one of the best races I can remember. Torched it, totally in the zone. The obstacles hardly me down boasting a 16.45 time and placing third. But it was a fun run, un-timed, and no awards given by place. It gave me that rush that running alone cannot deliver. That summer I sought out something more competittive/adventerous. Enter the spartan race.
The spartan race doesn't have the same name rand recognition as the tough mudder but what the spartan race lakes in notoriety it makes up for in sheer badassness. The nearest race was in Amesbury Mass. As fate would have it a hurricane struck and Sunday's race was cancelled. I was ever so disappointed having worked that hard for naught.
It is interesting to note that the song Iron by Woodkid was and still is my power song. I discovered it around this time as the summer before Assassin's Creed Revelations. That song, single handedly fueled my training sessions and grueling runs. I was coasting off all the adrenaline Iron makes you have. Testosterone x1000.
What song is that you ask? Oh no worries, I've only referenced it in every single post it seems. Here you go. I'll give you a few minutes to watch it then destroy all the furniture in your house as a result of the ensuing adrenaline rush.
Are you still here or are you at the base of your neighborhood with a battleaxe (where you get that thing anyway?) challenging anyone and everyone to a fight?
Flash forward next year and we're running in the make up race. I wasn't in the condition I was the year prior but as enthusiastic. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. No exaggeration I wasn't aware that if you failed to complete the obstacles the first attempt you owed 30 burpees on the spot. I forgot how many obstacles there actually were, but I did not forget how tedious and taxing they could be. For instance, it wasn't enough that you hit your target (a makeshift scarecrow) with a javalin from roughly 25 yards away, you had to throw it with enough velocity to make it stick in him. I channeled Achillies and impaled the fucking guy. Also I silently, reluctantly, thanked my college track coach for making me throw javalin.
There was a rope climb, a quintessential test of upper body strength, but to throw a fuck you spin on it, all competitors start neck deep in water.
Our team of 4 split unofficially into teams of 2. Salvo and I being the quicker, smaller, scrappy team to John and Sam's fucking beast mode. It made for an interesting equalizer though. The obstacles themselves favored brute strength where the demands of the hill running favored the smaller athletes. It's a stretch to say that burpees favor anyone. Keeping them to a minimum is advisable. A set of 30 consecutive burpees in and of themselves is taxing, never mind mid race on uneven muddy terrain.
Their slogan is "The Spartan Race: You'll Know at the Finish Line." They should change it to "The Spartan Race: Remind Yourself You Still Have Balls." Maybe offensive to the women that do the race (and do it well).
