Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Mid-Conversation

Do you ever catch the tail end of someone's conversation?  When out of context oftentimes the statement can seem quite bizarre.  This scenario works best in passing when someone is on the phone with another individual.  It leaves the listener to wonder what the hell they were discussing and/or to invent or imagine the plausible scenarios that led to that remark.  Three or four recent ones (depending on how many I can recall) are so obscure and incredible that I could not have possibly made them up.

A gentleman leaving Bullmose as I was entering said the following:

"No no.  Let's go to my place.  Ya.  I have slimjims."

As if the selling point for where the two parties were going was solely contingent upon the availability of slimjims.    EAT ME!  Suddenly, I get it.  I couldn't help but picture to college aged gentleman arguing over whose house they were to occupy whilst smoking marijuana and (insert post marijuana smoking activity, or insert nothing because that's perhaps the most appropriate post marijuana smoking activity).

While padio drinking with a friend of mine we saw another gentleman speaking with another individual on his phone.  He seemed to come to a sudden realization and responded:

"Wait wait, is that that fingerpainting with your mom?"

FINGERPAINTING WITH YOUR MOM?  Fingerpainting of your mom?  The activity of fingerpainting with one's mom?  No idea.  Was very tempted to inquire.

While entering a bar, a gentleman was leaving with his friends.  He was out in front and had to turn around to say:

"I'd never seen one that big before."

This was one statement upon which I interjected.  It was too good not to bring to his attention.  It seemed prime time for a "that's what she said" which garnered a fair laugh.  

My mom had the unfortunate luck of calling me while I was in mid conversation, can't remember percisely what about, but I was finishing my statement when I picked up the phone and she heard the last two words of my conversation which were "butt naked."

The world is alive with out of context quotations, many of which are entertaining.  Feel free to share.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


Now I see my demons and barely even sleep at night, 
I don't get high, 
Life keep me at a decent height, 
As the old me, 
I predicted all my recent plights, 
Exhausted, trying to fall asleep 
Losses at my recent fights, 
Burdens on my shoulders, now, 
Burning all my motives down, 
Inspiration drying up, 
Motivation slowing down,